When this pattern of being attracted to unavailable men is repeated over and over, it may be the result of internalised homophobia.Īn example could be the person who works long hours, has a hectic lifestyle, and when a partner wants to get to know you that bit more, you may decide that your life is too busy for a relationship and that you want to “keep things simple”. Examples include attitudes such as “gay men have a better dress sense than straight men” or “gay men are better listeners than straight men”.Īn example may be a gay man who happens to “be in love with a friend who’s straight”. The idea that gay people are “better” than heterosexuals. Putting down or even avoiding heterosexuals is an example of reverse discrimination from some gay and bisexual people to heterosexual people. Men who prefer not to socialise on the gay scene for fear that they will be seen going to/from those venues despite being comfortable going to gay bars when abroad on holiday, or the man who chooses not to speak to another gay man at work because “he is a bit camp and people may put two and two together”. pretending that his partner with whom he lives with is “just a good mate”. He may also “pass” to protect others, i.e. Where a person may try to hide his sexual orientation from family, friends, work colleagues, etc, by “passing” as straight. In their book, “Pink Therapy”, Davies & Neal (1996) illustrate some examples of how internalised homophobia and oppression may affect gay and bisexual men. Thinking about suicide, attempting suicide, death by suicide. Substance abuse, including drink and drugs.Ģ5. Sometimes low or lack of sexual drive or celibacy.Ģ4.
Separating sex and love, or fear of intimacy. Unsafe sexual practices and other destructive risk-taking behaviours-including risk for HIV and other STIs.Ģ3. Reluctance to be around or have concern for children for fear of being seen as a paedophile.Ģ2. Mistrust and destructive criticism of LGBT community leaders.Ģ0. Clowning as a way of acting out society’s negative stereotypes.ġ9. Continual self-monitoring of one’s behaviours, mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas.ġ8. Also, work place absenteeism or reduced productivity.ġ7. School truancy or dropping out of school. Shame or depression defensiveness anger or bitterness.ġ6. Increased fear and withdrawal from friend and relatives.ġ5. Attempts to pass as heterosexual, sometimes marrying someone of the other sex to gain social approval or in hope of ‘being cured’.ġ4. Becoming psychologically abused or abusive or remaining in an abusive relationship.ġ3. Projection of prejudice onto another target group.ġ2. Sometimes distancing by engaging in homophobic behaviours – ridicule, harassment, verbal or physical attacks on other LGB people.ġ1. Contempt for those that are not like ourselves or contempt for those who seem like ourselves. Denial that homophobia, heterosexism, biphobia or sexism are serious social problems.ġ0. Contempt for those at earlier stages of the coming out process.Ġ9. Contempt for the more open or obvious members of the LGBT community.Ġ8.
Under-achievement or even over-achievement as a bid for acceptance.Ġ6.
Engaging in obsessive thinking and/or compulsive behaviours.Ġ5. Attempts to alter or change your sexual your orientation.Ġ4. Denial of your sexual orientation to yourself and others.Ġ2. Internalised homophobia manifests itself in varying ways that can be linked to mental health. It is during these formative years when people are coming to understand and acknowledge their sexual orientation that internalised homophobia can really affect a person. Research carried out in Northern Ireland into the needs of young LGBT people in 2003 revealed that the average age for men to realise their sexual orientation was 12, yet the average age they actually confided in someone was 17. You, like many lesbian, gay and bisexual people, may have hidden your sexual orientation for a long time. Some LGB people suffer from mental distress as a result.Ī general sense of personal worth and also a positive view of your sexual orientation are critical for your mental health. Hearing and seeing negative depictions of LGB people can lead us to internalise, or take in, these negative messages. Internalised homophobia and oppression happens to gay, lesbian and bisexual people, and even heterosexuals, who have learned and been taught that heterosexuality is the norm and “correct way to be”.